Essence Quality; Ego Action?

Dear Well-intentioned Friend.

Start with taking a gentle, conscious breath.  Bringing our focus to our center and feeling the grounded-ness of our core, Essence Selves…

Today feels like a good day to revisit our Essence Lists…

A question has resurfaced lately about certain Essence Qualities, and whether they can sometimes cross over into Ego Actions…

For instance, the word “Loyal,” is one example of a Quality that can have true alignment with Essence Energy, and yet, can also shift into an action fueled by Ego, depending upon the story that we are engaged in at the time.

Let’s explore this a bit…

I Am Loyal.

Upon first glance, it seems like a positive Essence attribute, right?

Loyal, according to CambridgeDictionary.com: always giving help and encouragement.

Giving help and encouragement is a good thing, right?

Loyal, according to MacMillanDictionary.com:  willing to support, work for, or be a friend to someone, even in difficult times.

Sounds like a person who is plugged in to a Higher Power, yes?hopetoun_falls

Yet, when I am helping someone construct their own Essence List and this word comes up, sometimes, I get a little “buzz” in my body that tells me to inquire further; dig a little deeper.  This feeling in me points to the possibility that the energy of the word doesn’t feel completely aligned with the Source of Essence the person is attempting to connect with.

Sometimes, when I proceed with curiosity and ask the person to describe a situation when they felt, in this case, “Loyal,” it often becomes clearer that even though they began from a connection to Essence, eventually their Ego Story has crept into play and taints their actions.

I must always be Loyal to others, even in difficult times.

Always?  Even in difficult times?  Even when doing so puts my health and well being at risk?   Hmm, let’s explore.  If we are making a conscious choice from our Adult Self, we will feel the alignment of Essence. 

As an example, let’s say I choose to help my brother paint the rooms of his house because his painter backed out at the last minute, despite my having plans to go to the beach with my partner.

elakala-waterfallsAm I making this choice to be Loyal to my sibling because I know that next weekend he is having a big party at his house and he had planned to showcase the new color scheme, and I want to help him out.  Feels like Essence, yes?  I want to help him.  I don’t need to.

On the other hand, am I making this choice because I feel a sense of urgency, or guilt, or obligation to be there for my brother no matter what, or if not, it will prove I am not a good sister, or a good daughter, or I don’t love him, or he won’t love me…Feels like an Old Story to me.  Can you feel the energy of this as a need rather than a want?

I can make the exact same choice to be Loyal and help my brother on a day when I had other important plans, yet the Quality of the experience will be determined by the energy of my motivation.  Will the experience be an Essence experience or an Ego one? 

If you are paying close attention, you will be able to feel the differences between these experiences.  If I make the choice from my Essence, I will feel light, purposeful, joyful and aligned in my being Loyal.  If I make the choice from my Ego, I will feel heavy, burdened, guilty, and maybe even resentful…

Loyal is not the only Essence Quality that can transform into an Ego Action.

Let’s take a look.

I Am Caring.  Seems like a no-brainer Essence Quality, right?  What if you are making dinner for your family because you care for them, and it feels good to see them happy and enjoying your meal whether they express their delight or not?  Essence.  You are connected to and breathing from your own Oxygen Maskwaterfalls-1144130_960_720

On the other hand, what if you make the dinner longing to have your spouse acknowledge you did a good job (consciously or not); and if he or she doesn’t directly express that, you wind up feeling deflated, unappreciated, unloved, de-valued, etc.?  Ego.  Whose mask are you trying to breathe from?

Here’s another one.

I Am Intuitive.  How could this possibly be anything other than Essence, you may wonder?  Let’s be curious.  I notice my 17 year old daughter is antsy and irritable.  I also know that tomorrow is a big exam she may be worried about.  My intuition tells me that she may not be as prepared as she could be, so I ask her if she is ok, and if there is anything I can help her with for her test tomorrow. 

She says, “No thanks, Mom, I’m good.”  I hug her and step back and let her have her own experience.  Essence.  I am breathing directly from my own Oxygen Mask, and I have allowed her to search for and find her own.   

On the other hand, she says, “No thanks,” but my intuition tells me that she doesn’t want to study any more, and would rather go to dinner with her friends after work.  So, I begin to offer suggestions about how she might want to use the evening to get in a little more study time.  Or after she leaves for work, I go online to look at her grades to make sure she is keeping them up so she can graduate. 

All this because my Fear is fueling the Story that says, if she fails, her life will not turn out the way I want it to, the way that will be best for her, the way it is supposed to go; her life will be ruined and I will have failed her.  Ego.  Whose O2 Mask am I breathing from here? 

Can you think of other Essence Qualities that can start out that way, and yet, shift into an action that is really about an Ego Story?

Today let us consider this.

Today, let us hold an intention to notice our Essence Qualities, and begin to pay attention to how often they spill over the line into Ego Actions because we have plugged in to an Old Story fueled by fear…

Today let us practice feeling the energy of Essence and making efforts to navigate back to it. 

Essence Energy is our personal True North.

Feel Your Essence, and remember:

I am brilliant;

I am magnificent;

I am a being of Love and Light.

I am here to bring my Essence Self to every experience of my Life.

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