When last we met, we used the story of Oscar Diggs, aka, The Wizard of Oz, as an example to explore how we can begin to detect when we are stuck in a Wounded Child-created Character that is acting out an Old Story by looking at some of the Ego Actions that played out for our friend, Oscar, the Wizard.
We also looked at how to determine when an Action is infused with Ego energy, rather than one of Essence.
We held an intention to simply slow down and pay attention long enough to identify the feeling of Ego Actions when they play out.
Today let us consider how we can begin to change these Ego Actions into behaviors that are more aligned with our authentic Essence Selves.
If we peel back the layers of each Ego Action, we can begin to reveal the Ego Stories that feed them.
With Oscar, some of his Ego Actions were very obvious:
- He initially abruptly turns away Dorothy and her friends when they first arrive;
- He hides his true appearance behind a curtain and a cloud of green smoke;
- He creates an intimidating persona in the guise of the terrifying projected face of the Wizard of Oz, Great and Powerful, along with his booming and menacing voice, blazing flames and flashing lights;
- He belittles the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion for asking for the things they long for the most;
- He bargains and manipulates Dorothy into retrieving the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West, and killing her in the process;
And do you remember some of the Ego Action examples from our own lives we used yesterday?
- I laugh at a joke that really I think is racist and inappropriate.
- I have sex with someone before I truly am ready for physical intimacy.
- I stress out about having the perfect gifts for everyone I know, getting defensive or angry if a recipient isn’t ecstatic about what I have given them.
- I rarely admit I am wrong, or say I am sorry, or suggest that I just don’t know. I attempt to control the circumstances and be the leader either directly or passive-aggressively.
- I withdraw from my partner in times of stress or vulnerability or back away in reaction to feeling a deepening intimacy.
- I live on the surface, hardly recognizing confusion or pain, keeping up an appearance of control over my life. My mantra is “I am fine” even when it is obvious that things are not fine. I spend a lot of time comparing myself to others who I imagine are crystal clear in their “sanity.”
It may seem illogical that we behave in these ways. Yet, no Ego Actions are random or arbitrary. Since, when we are children, the Ego part of our minds unconsciously developed Stories to help us make sense of our worlds, therefore our Actions often align with these deeply rooted Stories rather than our growing Essence Selves.
So, let’s take a look at some of the Old Ego Stories that we, like Oscar, may have developed as vulnerable children which could be feeding these Ego Actions:
- In order to be loved, I must change who I am to be whomever everyone else need me to be.
- In order to avoid feeling ugly, I must do anything necessary to attract sexual attention.
- In order to avoid feeling the pain of my inherent broken-ness, I must strive to be perfect in all I do.
- So that I don’t show my weakness, I must always appear strong.
- So that I don’t feel the threat of danger, I must not risk being emotionally vulnerable in anyway.
- So that I don’t feel the terror of craziness, I must project that I am fine.
Can you see how an Ego Action is fed by an Old Ego Story?
If I am living unconsciously as a Wounded Child in the Old Story, I become a Character playing out a role and taking Action from an energy of Ego.
Take a moment to read that slowly…
Take a conscious breath, and give yourself a minute to absorb that to really understand how this dynamic plays out…
Today, let us hold an intention to pay attention to any Old Ego Stories that may still be floating around…
Today, let us notice the ones that are obvious to us, and also let us open our awareness to the ones that may be somewhere beneath the surface of our consciousness.
Today let us feel the energy of the Actions we take to indicate to us if an Old Ego Story has been activated…
Oh, and let’s be gentle with our Child Selves throughout…
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
~ Brenee Brown
I am brilliant;
I am magnificent;
I am a being of Love and Light.
I am here to bring my Essence Self to every experience of my Life.
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