What you focus on is what you experience.

After a powerful and intense several days, what with the Inauguration on Friday, the Women’s March on Saturday, and the relentless and redundant media coverage; so many of us are swimming in an array of emotions – some of them certainly inspired by Essence, and some of them absolutely super-charged with Ego-based Fear. 

Let us all pay attention to which energy is motivating us today, even if at the time you are reading this, the events of Inauguration weekend are long gone.

Let us also notice recognize that what we focus on determines the energy we are tapping into, and therefore, actually experiencing.

I have heard from many of my friends and loved ones that they are struggling with feelings of negativity, antagonism, and defensiveness as they interact with others who do not necessarily resonate with similar perspectives.  With social media providing a forum for us to interact with so many people at once, while also giving us a buffer zone to express things we might not express face to face; there is even more potential for Egos to over-react with vitriol and toxicity.

Let us also acknowledge today that we can certainly choose to focus on and engage with the negativity, and therefore perpetuate it in our own experience; or we can choose to accept that although we would prefer it if all of our loved ones saw things with the comparable lenses, it is likely that a number of them do not. 

Changing our focus and choosing not to engage with the same frequency, choosing to “drop the hot coal,” does not mean we have to stop loving our people, or even stop interacting with them.

It just means we turn our attention to what we want to experience, and make choices directed toward that goal.

We can create boundaries that are self-loving, while at the same time respecting the differing values of others in our lives.  Not always easy to disengage without an Old Story showing up trying to convince us that we need to remain in the dynamic.  Our Egos have an investment in staying in the Story.  It is familiar; it gives us an “enemy” to “destroy,” so we feel “powerful;” and it gives us the illusion of safety and control as we attempt to convince, defend, and argue; or to withdraw, fume, and fester.

Yet, ultimately, we all get to choose how we handle the circumstances that make us uncomfortable; even though sometimes it is only after we have gone a few rounds of volleying hot coals back and forth!

To use a social media metaphor, I can choose to “unfollow” folks who only feed into an Ego energy that there is no way to disengage from other than turning the other way.  I can do this literally on FaceBook or the others, but I can also do this more figuratively in my daily life. 

As I become more adept at finding balance, I can remember that I don’t have to completely “un-friend” anyone if there are moments of quality Essence experiences with them that I want to maintain.  I can decide how much communication I have with each and every one of them.

I do not have to accept every invitation offered to events, parties, dinners; nor do I have to extend myself to everyone as I interact with the chosen people in my life. 

I do not have to answer the phone or respond to every notification that chimes in.  In fact, I can turn of the notifications completely and only check my messages at specific times during the  day. 

I do not have to react to the news, which is largely sensationalistic and Ego-based to an extreme much of the time.  In fact, I can change channels, turn off News Updates on my smartphone, and look for reliable information only periodically.


I get to choose what I focus on.  And when.

And ultimately, in reality, I also have the right and the ability to cut off interactions with those whose energy has become so unconscious and toxic that there is no way to have them accept my invitation into the Light of Essence, no matter how I try.  As uncomfortable as that might be, after all, this would be shutting down a familiar Old Story with much history; it actually may be the healthiest and most self-loving way to put on my own oxygen mask.  It may feel extreme, but it might be the only way for me to stop my own bleeding and allow the wounds to heal.

I may need to stop spending time with a friend who cannot see beyond an Old Story that keeps her stuck, and who needs me to stay in an old Character role with her in order to maintain the friendship.

I may need to find another church that is more aligned with the values that resonate with my Essence Self.

I may need to discontinue family visits that perpetuate Old Story dynamics that limit my ability to step into my most Authentic, Essence-centered Self; keeping me small and restricted.

More than ever, we are being pushed to challenge the old ways of doing things, the familiar ways we have been living our lives.  The discomfort of the status quo is becoming more painful than the risk of changing.

So, today, let us hold an intention to notice how we may be perpetuating a painful experience that we actually have the power to shift out of. 

Let us remember that the pain of ripping off the band aid is temporary, but necessary to allow the air to help the wound to heal.

Let us acknowledge that focusing on the energy of negativity only keeps us stuck in that energy.

Let us hold an intention then, to shift our focus and take Essence-based Action.

Doing so will instantly change our experience for the better…

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”   ~ Wayne Dyer.


I am brilliant;

I am magnificent;

I am a being of Love and Light.

I am here to bring my Essence Self to every experience of my Life.

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