Are you connected?
Center yourself in your body.
Feel your full body presence.
Today’s question to consider is this…
Does being Authentic and expressing Essence energy mean being Honest all the time?
I imagine, if you have already created an Essence of Me list, “I am Honest,” is likely on it.
Less likely, I imagine, is “I am Discerning.” What? Is this quality on your list?
(Disclaimer: This is not the “Discernment” of any organized religion, but rather, we are using the word here today to describe an Essence quality that we will be discussing further below).
Being Honest is something most of us would find easy to describe, and simple to understand why it is a value most of us aspire to express as often as we can.
However, being Discerning is a quality that may not initially or readily come to mind when we reflect on who we want to be and how we want to express ourselves in our lives. I don’t believe that I have ever heard anyone so far add it to their own Essence List on their first go round.
Yet, these two qualities, Honest and Discerning, are related, and important to look at together.
So, let’s look at the actual definition of each word, according to Merriam Webster’s online dictionary.
Honest: “Free from fraud or deception; marked by integrity; marked by free, forthright and sincere expression.”
Discerning: “Showing insight and understanding.”
Being Honest seems an obvious, straightforward, clear, objective quality. One is either being Honest or not. If you are not being “fraudulent or deceiving,” you are being Honest. So, even if you are telling a “white lie,” skirting the truth, evading the answer, you are not being Honest.
No judgment in that, just an objective reality.
Being Discerning feels a bit more complex than Honest. It seems to have a breadth and depth that goes beyond simply telling the Truth or not. To be Discerning, in order to “show insight and understanding,” we must pause for a moment.
Insight and understanding can take a little time. It is not as definitive or objective as being Honest.
There is a reflection that must happen in order to allow an insight to reveal itself. There is a consideration that goes along with reaching an understanding. This is a subjective experience.
With being Discerning, there certainly is an element of Honesty which begins with an external observation of the objective reality as we know it:
I know that my best friend’s spouse is cheating.
I can see that my partner has gained some weight or has gotten a bad hair cut.
I know that my kid has an important exam today and I just made an appointment to put down our family pet next week.
I can see that a colleague wasn’t invited to a mutual co-worker’s big event.
These are all just observable facts. No interpretations here, just the facts, ma’am.
So, if my friend asks what I know;
or my kid is heading off for her exam and asks about the dog;
or my colleague wonders what my plans are for Saturday night…
Will I be Honest?
If I am staying simple, and just expressing “I am Honest,” I will answer with the objective facts and tell them what I know. Or if I am more aligned with Ego (fear, shame, guilt, etc.), I might outright lie with no intention of ever being Honest. If my only goal is to avoid discomfort, lying might seem the easier way out.
However, if I am going deeper and wider, I will pause. I will reflect. Is the answer urgent? Can it wait? Can I wait for clarity if I am not sure of objective facts?
Sometimes being aligned with our Adult Essence Self may mean holding the objective facts to yourself until you are clear about what your motivation is; and what the effect on the other may be.
If your choice is based solely on how being Honest will effect you; you are not aligned with Essence. Check your energy: are you being Honest because your Ego is being activated by the charge of gossip, or resentment, or anxiety, or relief that you weren’t the one excluded; or any version of an Ego story?
On the other hand, if your choice is based on how being Honest will affect another; you are being Discerning. Check your energy: are you being Discerning because you have paused to reflect on how and when to disclose what you know with compassion and kindness toward the recipient of the information?
Sometimes, it is most loving and Essence-aligned to wait before being Honest…get clarity, bring yourself to center and focus on your motivation; and always, be kind and gentle. Being Discerning is not an easy way out.
Sometimes, we rush to be Honest because it is just really hard to sit with the discomfort of knowing something that we want to share. Or sometimes, we get lost in the adrenaline rush that comes with the Ego-infused energy of gossip, resentment, anxiety or fear. Sometimes, we just want to feel “special” because we are privy to “exclusive” information.
It doesn’t seem to be a black and white issue, this being Honest question…Certainly, we can be Honest without being Discerning.
Yet, it does also seem certain that in order to be Discerning, we must start with being Honest; Honest with ourselves about the energy we are in; about the motivations behind expressing our Honest selves with others.
What will you choose today? Will you be Honest while also being Discerning?
After all is said and done, there is no doubt that living as an Essence-aligned Human Being is not a science, it is a complex art-form.
Committing to being one is nothing short of a hero’s undertaking.
“Just be honest with yourself; that opens the door.” ~ Unknown
Breathe consciously, be your Heroic self:
I am brilliant;
I am magnificent;
I am a being of Love and Light.
I am here to bring my Essence Self to every experience of my Life.
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