What do I really want?

Throughout the course of these Conscious Intentions, we have been focused on the question:  “Who Am I and how do I want to Express my Truth in the world.”

We created an Essence of Me list to help us stay awake and aware of the Truth of Who We Are, and to use this tool as a touchstone when we get lost in any one of the Old Ego Stories that no longer serve us.

Having this knowledge at the foundation of our Human experience can help us stay on a course that feels solid and clear, even when the externals of our lives are anything but.

Right now, take a moment to really feel the Essence of You.  If you need to, take a look at your List to remind you of the qualities that are there at your Core.  Then, give yourself a moment to truly feel the energy of some of them.  Bring yourself into the Truth of You which these words represent.

Now, whether you are coupled at the present time, or currently single, most of us imagine ourselves in an intimate relationship.  But have you ever really thought about what your Ideal Relationship would look like, given that you now know Who You Are and how You want to Express yourself in the world?

Without an answer to this question, we may find ourselves stuck in relationships that feel aimless, unsatisfying and uncertain as we replay Story after Story with no alternative in sight. 

Without an answer to this question, we may continue to attract people who may reactivate Old Stories with us, but have no ability to sort through them, deactivate them and use them to heal and grow.

Without an answer to this question, it is difficult to be intentional about the choices we make about any of our experiences, feeling dissatisfied, confused, afraid and perhaps even hopeless as we blame our partners for this pain.

What would my Ideal Love Relationship look like?

This is a very subjective question.  There is not a right or wrong way to answer it.  Your list may look very different from mine.  In fact, if you have a partner right now, your list may look very different from theirs, yet here you are living your life possibly believing that you are sharing a common plan when you may instead be on completely different pages, wondering why there is so much confusion between the two of you…

This is one very good reason to consider this question before you even get into a relationship,  or if you are already there, to consider it now, together. 

It is not uncommon for people in couples to never think about this, even internally, let alone have this conversation; however, it would seem one of the most important questions to ask ourselves and each other before making any commitments about a future together.

So today let us being to consider this question:  What do I want in my Ideal Love Relationship?

In my Ideal Love Relationship Vision, my partner and I:

  • Enjoy spending quiet time together daily;
  • Have fun together regularly;
  • Trust each other;
  • Feel safe with each other;
  • Have satisfying and connecting sex;
  • Are faithful to each other, sexually and emotionally;
  • Are healthy and physically active;
  • Share important decisions;
  • Respect each other’s perspective even when they are not exactly the same;
  • Communicate freely, even when it is hard;
  • Value spirituality and growth;
  • Enjoy sports, both as spectators and as participants;
  • Prioritize traveling to places we have never been before;
  • Want children and grandchildren, living near them and being involved in their daily lives;
  • Love animals and want to rescue and foster them in our home;
  • Want to save as much money for retirement as we can, with a specific timeframe and financial goal in mind;
  • Are affectionate and expressive with terms of endearment;
  • Respect the other’s need for space, or need for connection;
  • Both have satisfying careers…

These are just a few examples of some items that may be on your list. 

None of them need to be written in stone, though some of them may be non-negotiable, for instance, “In my ideal love relationship, neither one of us smokes cigarettes,” or “my partner and I have the same political views.”

Some may be more flexible.  Although I may want “my partner and I to be healthy and physically active,” it might be acceptable to me if my partner plays golf and basketball and eats red meat while I do yoga and only eat gluten-free, so long as there is mutual respect about each other’s choices.

Once you have a created a Vision for yourself, can you imagine authentically and lovingly sharing it with your mate? 

Can you imagine being curious about your partner’s Vision?

Can you imagine working together to adjust and compromise where it feels aligned with each of your Essence Truths?

Can you imagine using this Vision to help you clarify the next chapters of your time together?

Can you imagine using your Essence Qualities to help you navigate through some of the fearful Ego Stories that may emerge as you realize your Visions may be different from what you believed?

Today, let us hold an intention to be curious about our Vision for an Ideal Love Relationship…

Today, let us remember that we are creating the experiences of our lives, and by creating a Vision, we give ourselves a map to guide our way…

Today, let us hold that Vision gently and lightly, trusting our intuition about where to be flexible because we love our partners, and where to hold firm to our Truth because we love ourselves.

”Don’t settle for anybody just to have someone. Set your standards. What kind of love do you want to attract? List the qualities you really want in the relationship. Develop those qualities in yourself and you will attract a person who has them.”  Louise Hay

“Access to your true essence will give you insight into the mirror of relationship, because all relationship is a reflection of your relationship with yourself.”  ~ Deepak Chopra


I am brilliant;

I am magnificent;

I am a being of Love and Light.

I am here to bring my Essence Self to every experience of my Life.

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Coming soon –  Relationship Bootcamp: 12 Weeks to a More Essence-Centered Life.