Christmas and Mixed Emotions.
I admit it, I love the holiday season.
As tumultuous as my childhood was, I have such warm memories of the family festivities of Christmas Eve and the wonder and excitment of Christmas Morning.
My parents were in their early 20’s and they were committed to making everything feel “magical” for me and my two younger brothers.
Those experiences inspired me to pass on some of our traditions to my daughter when she was a child, and to find new ways to continue them to this day.
At the same time, my childhood world fell apart when I was 9 years old with the divorce of my parents. My life changed. My reality changed. And so did my Christmas.
Much as my daughter’s did with the divorce of her parents, that would be me and my ex, when she was 7. (Yes, I unconsciously recreated the wounds of my childhood trying to repair my unfinished business. But that is another story for another time)…
Suffice it to say, this time of year can stir up so many emotions for me.
I am sure you have your own myriad of feelings with your particular memories of holidays past, and with wishes for better times to come in the future.
Joy and pain.
Merriment and sadness.
Hopes and fears.
It’s all normal and healthy.
I have learned to embrace it all as part of my multi-layered experience as a soul living as a human being!
Think about how much less stressful it might be if you remember that the fantasy of a Perfect Holiday is just that, a fantasy.
In truth, nothing is urgent, nothing is written in stone; even time-tested customs can be adapted as needed.
We can choose to shift into joy, merriment, and hope when we wake up and find ourselves in the midst of pain, sadness, or fear.
That is, if we realize that we do have that choice.
No matter what is going on around you.
So, feel the feelings:
Go ahead and cry over the family tradition that won’t be the same without your loved one this year…
Go ahead and feel the shock of this year’s cost of food and gifts and travels…
Go ahead and allow for your concerns about what the upcoming year might bring for you, your kids, and grandkids…
And then, once you have opened to feel the feelings, let them move through you, and make your next choice.
Can you choose to resist letting your Protector take over the ride, and instead stay solid in your Wise Adult?
If so, you might:
Create new family traditions with the loved ones who are present here with you, invoking the memory of those you miss…
Adjust your budget, have gratitude for what you can afford, and embrace what you actually have…
Imagine the Life Force flowing through your descendants and trust they will find their way, and maybe even find ways to improve things…
No matter what your situation, please know that all of us at Conscious Choices, Jessica, Marci, Courtney, and I, are all sending you many wishes for a Holiday Season full of love…even if it’s not perfect!
Always,
Carol
