The Tango Is Calling You.
Are you able to slow yourself down when you find yourself in conflict with your partner?
Without the ability to recognize that you have unconsciously fallen into the pit of the old patterns, I promise you, there is no way out of the dance.
If you can’t realize that you are doing the Cha Cha when what you really want is to be doing the Argentine Tango, you are guaranteed to never feel the beauty and joy of a more sophisticated dance.
The power of your observation is crucial as a first step to making changes in your relationships.
Often we find ourselves swept up in the discomfort of outdated patterns.
We get bored:
“Sigh, it’s the same old Cha Cha I’ve been doing my whole life…”
We get resentful:
“If it weren’t for you, I’d be able to dance the Tango with ease…”
We get judgmental:
“You would’t be able to learn the Tango, it’s too much for you…”
We get complacent:
“Oh well, I guess I have to just accept the that Cha Cha is the only dance available to me…”
We get controlling:
“You better learn the Tango or I’ll make life miserable.”
We get passive aggressive:
“The Cha Cha is fine, I’m fine. I don’t need to do the Tango, anyway…”
You get the idea.
Imagine, though instead, you have a moment where you realize that the Cha Cha, although it’s basic simplicity has worked for most of your life, is not enough. That deeper down is a calling for something more…
What if you recognize that your boredom, resentment, judgement, complacency, controlling behavior, and passive aggression are actually messages to you?
What if you can breathe and take a moment to observe your discomfort in doing the Cha Cha over and over and over again?
Only when you can see that this happening, can you resist the pull of your Protector.
Remember, your Protector is always going to try and keep you in the familiar old patterns. This is the comfortable place where it knows how to keep you “safe.”
So if it is the Cha Cha that has kept you neatly defined and comfortable in what is familiar, then that is where your Protector is going to try and keep you.
The Cha Cha feels safe and predictable.
The Tango feels dangerous and uncertain.
Yes, stepping outside your comfort zone is absolutely necessary in order to learn the new steps.
You won’t know what you’re doing at first.
You may stumble.
You may fumble.
You may fall down.
You may feel foolish.
Yep.
In fact, you can probably count on all of those things!
And, at the same time, if you slow down enough, and allow yourself to look inward at your discomfort, you will likely find beneath it, a longing to grow.
A calling to expand into more of yourself.
The Argentine Tango is not for the faint of heart.
Neither is a fully authentic, mature, and relational relationship.
Think of the Cha Cha as a transactional kind of relationship:
The steps are pretty basic - Our roles are often gender based.
The rhythm is easy (1,2,3, cha cha) - Our tasks are easily defined.
You do for me; I do for you.
We each know what is expected.
Simple. Clear. Basic.
Nothing wrong with this level of dancing…
Unless your inner voice is speaking to you that there is more.
The Tango is deeper, more layered, more sophisticated, more seasoned. Just like a relational kind of relationship.
The steps are more complicated - We each have to balance both our feminine and masculine aspects.
The rhythm can be syncopated and unpredictable - Our tasks can shift based on our skills and energy levels.
We work together in the flow.
We adjust together on the fly.
Delicious. Graceful. Elegant.
Everything so beautiful in this level of dancing.
Can you hear your inner voice calling you?
Don’t let your Protector fool you into believing that your discomfort means you are on the wrong track.
Instead, see what you can do to recognize it as an opening to the right track that will lead you to the new dance you want to learn.
Your partner is not the problem.
The old dance is.
Invite your loved one to learn the new one with you.
Watch a Gorgeous Argentine Tango:
