The Big Family Reunion.
A Protector’s Dream? Or…
I love my big Italian family. I do know how fortunate I am to feel loved by all of them, most of the time! Not everyone has this experience, so I am very grateful.
Notice I said I feel loved by all of them, most of the time. Let’s be really clear here. I know they all love me. Just as much as I love them.
However, there are times that I don’t have easy and open access to the knowledge that they love me…or that I love them for that matter, and that we all are doing the best we can with the level of consciousness we each have.
When our Protector part gets in the driver’s seat, it can easily convince us that we are no longer connected, that we should judge them for how they are making us feel.
In other words, it could convince me that because I don’t feel loved in that moment, it must be because they have stopped loving me. This would make it easy to judge them and distract me from my discomfort.
It also could convince me that the reason I don’t feel loved is because I am unloveable. This would make it easy to judge myself, and give me a reason for my discomfort.
Trust me, there were so many opportunities to practice what I preach, ie, slowing down, taking a breath, giving myself a little TLC, remembering what I want, and acting in alignment with the Love in my heart.
I am so grateful to have the tools that helped me flow and glide and rise above anything my Protector could have thrown at me.
Think about this, all together, there were at total of 30 people invited, with ultimately 24 of us attending the Big Family Reunion of 2025.
So many people, so many Wounded Child parts with the potential for activation, and so many Protector parts ready, willing, and able to take up the fight!
Me and my 25 year old daughter.
A various combination of nieces and nephews.
A few cousins along with their significant others, children (including an 18 month and a 3 year old), and siblings.
My two brothers along with their spouses.
My maternal aunt and my uncle, the elders of the family.
Even the ones who did not attend made appearances in some way or another, even if it was just in the imaginations and projections of those of us who were there.
Nine of us were in one house, and 16 more in another almost directly across the lake at the northern most point of Lake George in Ticonderoga, NY. And there were 2 boats between both cabins.
So many activities; so many opportunities (FGEs. Ask me):
Boating, water-skiing, wake-boarding, knee-boarding, wake-surfing (what?!), remote-control boats, hiking, fishing, lounging, sunning, swimming, board and card game playing, corn-hole tossing, volley-balling, fire-tending, star-gazing, smore-making, cooking, eating, drinking, catching up, singing, dancing, laughing…
Imagine all the chances to bump up against one another, even if in our own minds…starting even days before the trip even begun.
I am going to be sharing a house with siblings of spouses, ie, people I have never met before, including a 3 year old; what if we don’t get along?
Who is cooking what on which day?
Oh no, I have to cook for so many people?
Were we really supposed to bring our own meat to the BBQ?
How do I deal with someone who is drinking a lot more than me?
Why are they eating my special food when we were supposed to bring our own?
How many times do we have to drive to the Walmart to pick up something you forgot?
How come I am always the one taking out the trash?
Who’s comparing jobs, various levels of “success,” and life stages and satisfaction?
There are only 2 bathrooms, how can I get some privacy?
Who left all this hair in the tub?
How did I wind up with this bedroom?
It’s too cold in here…It’s too hot in here!
I can’t believe they wear their shoes in the house.
I can’t believe they walk around barefoot in the house.
Rain? It’s not supposed to rain on vacation!
How can I get the toddler’s We Like to Party ear-worm song out of my head?
Baby is crying…why? What’s wrong? Maybe the parents should…(fill in the blank).
You get the idea…
Although all those thoughts didn’t belong to me, I admit, many of them did as some point or another!
Without the ability to shift into my Wise Adult self, my Protector could have had a field day.
She might have enjoyed personalizing everything and feeling the thrill of the adrenaline rush that comes with judging and polarizing everything and everyone.
And maybe she might have felt strong and in control by getting angry and resentful about how they were all victimizing me (poor little Wounded Child Carol).
Of course if so, my Wise Adult self would have had a miserable time.
Fortunately I used all of my tools to influence the energy of my own experience. So, if there was any Protector drama going on between the others , I hardly noticed.
And all the parts of me had a wonderful time!
I took care of Little Carol;
My Protector was not burdened with the weight of doing that for me;
And while Adult me came home exhausted, it is true, it was coupled with so many great memories and feelings of connection to everyone.
Can you imagine where and how your Protector might have gotten snagged?
If so, think about how you might use your tools in each situation.
Remember, the quality of your experience is completely up to you.
No matter what life throws at you.
Much love,
Carol
