You Are Not Alone.
The start of a New Year doesn’t instantly shift our trajectory 180 degrees.
Changes are always afoot, and often they happen slowly and incrementally, not dramatically and spontaneously.
Though I will admit, it sure seems that some recent changes have seemed pretty dramatic, and maybe not so incremental.
Many of these changes are completely out of our control; and some of them may actually scare the living daylights out of us.
In so many ways, what was once familiar and foreseeable, is no longer.
As imperfect as things may have been, at least we knew what to expect and we had a sense that things were somewhat predictable.
Much easier to regulate our nervous system when we know what’s coming, right?
Think about it, being reasonably certain that the sound behind the tree is coming from a lion not a skunk, gives us the vital information we need so we can prepare to respond to whatever the danger is.
Either way, it might be a danger, but if we are clear what the risk actually is, in this case, either a physical death, or just a nauseating discomfort, our brains can stop scrambling to figure out what’s going on, and send all its resources to the sympathetic nervous system to respond to the threat.
But when we don’t really know exactly what is going on, and we feel confused because some things just don’t make sense…
Physiologicallly, we don’t just want it to make sense, truly we need it to in order to survive.
So when evidence points to the fact that the reality which we have come to rely on, warts and all, is really changing significantly, our human selves are desperate for some feeling of safety.
When we can’t predict, when things feel upside down, when we are unsure who’s in charge, who’s driving the car, and whether all, or any of it is in our best interest, our sense of solidity crumbles.
In reaction to this wobbliness:
Some of our Protectors kick and scream. (Fight)
Some of our Protectors tune it out. (Flee)
Some of our Protectors jump on board. (Fawn)
Some of our Protectors justify it or explain it away. (Fix)
I don’t have the answers to how to handle the global situation we find ourselves in right now…
However, if these are some of the questions you are asking yourself right now, either about the world in general, or about your own specific personal life:
What can I rely on?
Who can I turn to?
Where is a safe place to land?
I can offer a few honest and hopeful replies:
Rely on your connection to the Source of your Higher Power. Whether you call that God, Spirit, The Universe…and remember, here you are safe.
Turn toward your loved ones, not necessarily for answers, but for comfort and joy.
Make your relationships a safe place to land, so there is gentle loving-kindness when you “come home.”
If my suggestions feel beyond your abilities right now, I’d like to offer you my help.
Whether through individual or couples’ work, I can support your intentions to step into a more connected, loving, truthful, and authentic life.
